Dragged myself up at 1pm today & went Chris's hse to look for him. Cos we both duno wat to do, duno shld go where & rot. Bascially, its cos we r broke. Or so i thought~ So someone apparently, instead of accompanying me to KK to visit my ex-boss as she had juz given birth to a baby ger, he went to play mahjong & won $160 in a span of 3hrs.
Dats hw i got my $28.90 shoes today, lol.
Haa..bot from Charles & Keith & yes, its juz a pretty ordinary pair. The main reason i chose this pair was cos the heels were short enuf. Im not meant for high heels reali~ Comes in denim blue (this one is nice!) & dusty pink but i chose this boring beige cos easier to match. But i reali preferred the denim blue one.
And this is the $19.90 t-shirt i bot from Metro last mth when i got my pay.
It reads, "Romantic Army".
Was at his hse juz now & his mum chatted with me, asking me why cannt stay overnite. Why need to go home. Why nv bring my barang barang.
U noe, after dat funeral incident, im even sicker of them. Its not like i hate them or wat. But every pore of my body, every cell, every blood vein, every molecule juz screams for help everytime i come in contact with the family.
I've been asking around & i duno whether to feel better or worse. To kip a long story short, i was not allowed to walk together with the rest of his relatives after the funeral rites. I mean, at the void deck & stuff, i was allowed to walk tog with them, holding joss sticks & throwing joss papers around but last min, they decided to pull me out & told Chris dat i cannot walk out on the main road with them. U guys will noe dat the relatives will usually walk to the main road, following the coffin behind rite? Yeah, i wasen allowed to do dat & turns out dat cos they thought im a christian.
I've been talking to a few colleagues & frens of similar faith & looks like if im reali a catholic/christian/watever, i shldnt even be holding joss sticks. So, they were partly rite for not letting me walk with them to the main road but reali, i dun see wats the big deal abt walking when i've already held numerous joss sticks & haven thrown hundreds of joss papers around??!
So, i cannot understd why i can do everything except the walking part.
In short, i feel discriminated. The worst is, im not even a christian.
Oh yeah, and i received a $12 angbao for luck cos im not part the Ang Family as we haven throw a 12 course dinner. Wtf~ Chris spent the $12 liao btw, lol.
Of cos, Chris nv bothered to clarify with his mum dat im not a christian. Mayb to them, freethinker = christians? Well...wat to do? LL.
Have already informed my dear hubby dat i'll be starting my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) programme at St Mary situated at Bukit Batok after i settled in our new home :) The programme will last about a year b4 baptism.
I keep asking myself why am i leaning towards christianity now? Why haven i wanted to do dat b4? To be reali reali honest, his family played a big part. Im not choosing this to even distance/differentiate myself from them further (if u noe wat i mean) but rather, im looking for a faith dat will bring my emotional & mental peace. A pillar of strength in trying times. And i find it hard to find positive feelings/emotions with anything dat may link to them :(
I noe Chris is feeling quite perplexed at this moment cos all along, im not a religious person. Plus, we would have to bring up our children as catholics. And if im not wrong, even b4 we can hold our church wedding at St Mary, there's a compulsory marriage preparation course, lol. Looks like Chris will have alot of new things thrown at him. I will get a sponsor who will guide me thruout this programme. Interestingly, they will only assign a person of the same sex as sponsor, lol.
I hope next year, will be a better for me...& for everyone else!!~
